The pains we take
by Kanan
Summary: Rated for some language and such. First in a chain of mini stories. rnWhat could have happened after the Elrics tried human alchemy in detail disclaimer inside.


Disclaimer:

To my ultimate dismay, I do not own the rights to FMA (full metal alchemist) and or its characters and plots… bummer, huh?

Anyway, yes, I'm back and I've got a new story for you! We all know basically how the story goes from the beginning of the series, right? Well, I'm going to give you a better look at my interpretation of what happened in the scenes we DIDN'T see! Enjoy!

(Warning, some of the scenes shown on the show may be depicted a bit differently in this fic. Just…don't sue me, okay? Really, you might like it!)

Library of mini FMA shorts!

The pains we take…

(Al P.O.V.)

We were bad…

"Carbon… ammonium… and traces of fifteen other elements…"

We were very bad…

"Okay, Al, it's all set. Time to bring mom back to life!"

…And we were punished…

"Brother, I don't know if we should do this, I mean, what if something goes wrong?

"It wont. Everything's perfect."

"The body seems easy enough to recreate, but what about the soul? What could we trade for mom's soul?"

"Just hold out your hand, Al."

The swift slice of the knife… that's how simple it was…

"Our blood… from HER blood. That's a fair trade."

We were very bad boys, and we paid the price… just a swift of a knife… that's how simple it was to make a mistake…

We put our hands on the circle drawn on the floor and the room began to glow. Me and my brother both smiled and laughed… We really thought it was going to work…

But just like that, things went bad. The brilliant golden light turned into an angry red…

"Brother, something is very wrong here!"

My brother looked around trying to figure out what was happening, and that's when it happened.

"AH-ahhhhhhh!"

Ed quickly turned his head to face me. This strange arm-like creature came out of the swirling vortex and was attached to my left wrist. And just like that, my arm, no, my whole body started to disappear into nothing.

"Al! –UGH!"

My brother's leg was also being consumed and he collapsed to the floor in agony. I tried to reach for him, but my body started to disappear even more! It pulled me to it, and soon, most of my lower half was gone- sucked into the vortex we had created. I reached out my hand to him again, crying and yelling.

"Brother! Help me, please! HELP!"

"Al! Al, I'm coming!"

I saw him reach for me, and then he suddenly stopped to grasp what was left of his left leg. The arms had left him alone, but it hurt him so much now, what with only a bleeding stump in its place. And the blood… Oh god, the blood… I'll never forget the sight of what I saw that day!

"Brother!"

Ed looked back up to me as my head started to disappear now- the very last of me. He reached as best he could with his right hand out to my disappearing left. So close… He was so close to reaching my hand, I almost had hope that he could pull me back, body and all… But, just before he could grasp my hand, I slipped through his fingers, and I was lost. …I had lost my entire body in that moment… however, as I would soon learn, I could have lost a lot more. …I almost DID, that night…

"AHHHHHHH!" Ed screamed.

All I saw was white at first, nothing but white light all around me. I felt no pain, no feeling, nothing. It was then that I realized that I wasn't even there at all for real. Does that mean I was dead…? What did it mean…? I wanted to cry, then, …I really did, but I just couldn't, without a body. I stayed in that place for a while, seemingly only a moment in the real world, but nearly and eternity to me, and then I thought I heard something.

"…Al…"

I rose up and looked all around me, searching for the owner of the calm voice that called me. I saw noone. I heard it again, soon, but this time…it sounded weaker and somewhat different, but there was no doubt in my mind. It was Ed! Ed was calling for me, he was trying to bring me back, for sure!

"…Al… Al…!"

"Big brother, I'm here! Where are you!"

"Al?"

And just like that, it felt like a strong, invisible force pulled me- and then the whiteness disappeared and I was back in a dark room, now filled with smoke. The first sound I heard was a crack of lightning from the storm just outside our home. I sat up on my knees, and- …wait, my knees? I looked down at myself but saw only a suit of armor—one I recognized from it being against the wall in that very room. I felt my face, slowly, my hands were shaking, I heard the armor rattle emptily…

The second noise I heard was… Edward! …Ed…?

I saw him sitting on his knees on the floor a ways away from me. He was staring strait at me, as if he was staring at the ghost of someone he had killed… I could see, even in the dim light, that a coat of sweat was forming on his face, and then I saw that he was shivering and shaking badly. I looked him over, and that's when I saw that… his… h-he was missing his entire right arm! He held onto his shoulder as blood dripped to the floor.

"Brother! What… what happened to you? What happened to us? To me? What happened to ME!"

"I-I'm sorry, Al… There was only one thing I could do… so I used my right arm to bind your soul to armor in the corner… Al, I'm so sorry!"

My poor brother, sitting there in a puddle of blood, started to shake again, holding in his tears as best he could. He was in pain! I wen to him and he collapsed forward so I caught him. I held him there, shivering and bleeding in my arms… God, I hold my older brother in my arms? It was then that I realized just how small and frail he was… I was always thinking about how tough he was when he were growing up, and now… I just knew he would always feel sensitive about his height if ever mentioned, like a permanent scar…

"Brother, I don't understand. Why didn't it work? Your theories seemed so perfect!"

"It wasn't the theories, Al… it was US! …It was us… It was… was…"

And then I felt it. Ed started to go quiet as he let loose his bottled up tears and his eyes slowly closed. His tiny body fell limp in my arms.

"Brother? …Ed…?"

I tied shaking him, very lightly but he didn't respond. I shook him a little harder, and he still didn't open his eyes even once!

"Ed? ED? Oh-no, oh-no! Ed! What do I do?"

I looked all around the room and in the corner, I spotted a few rags lying nearby in the corner and I grabbed them. I wrapped a few tightly around my brother's torso and leg where he was bleeding. Maybe too tightly. Edward groaned and tried to curl in on himself from the pain, and I straitened him out again, otherwise it would worsen the bleeding. It felt terrible to let my brother lie there in pain, but what with his heavy breaths, at least it let me know he was still alive! I felt so helpless, staring down at him like that, and I could think of only one thing I could do for him. I looked up at the single window at the pouring rain. It was risky for Ed, and we'd get soaked, but…

I picked him up in my arms again and held him close as I ran out the door into the pounding rain. I ran as hard and fast as my new armor legs would carry me, towards the only place that always kept a light on for brother and me… Ed winced again and I held him closer.

"Hold on, Ed! It's going to be okay! Granny Pinako will know what to do!"

"………………"

I ran quickly to the Rockbell home and burst through the front door, making sure that I don't drop my older brother. And there were granny and Winry, right there, working late on automail, as usual. Both of them stared at me in utter shock as I stepped inside. It's like they didn't see I was carting suck a fragile cargo, all they saw was ME...

"Please… help him… He's gonna BLEED to death…!"

I held out Ed a little and that's when I saw a flicker of recognition, to replace the fear, etched out on Winry's face.

"A-Al?"

"Yes, it's me. Granny, please… please help Ed! H-he's not responding when I call him anymore…!"

"Alright, you can explain this later! Bring him inside! Quickly!"

I brought him in and set him down on a bed in one of the guest rooms, but then… I was told to wait in the living room as they closed the door on me, cutting off my tied with my older brother.

I waited and waited… I was terrified as I hear occasional screams coming from my brother in the room, and I put my hands up to where my eras should have been, trying to block out the noise. The screams… oh, god, the screams… I just wish I could cover my ears…!

Some hours later, Pinako walked out towards me. She had left Ed's door open and I saw Winry by the bed, holding onto Ed's hand. I heard him moaning a little and I saw a shimmer of blonde, occasionally, as he moved his head back and forth. As Pinako approached me, I tried to lean over a little to try and get a better look inside the room. Winry was staring at me, and then…

"Alphonse, I want you to tell me exactly what happened to the two of you tonight. Out with it.."

"I…"

I looked away. I just couldn't meet eyes with her right now. I couldn't tell her what we had tried to do, I couldn't tell her what bad things we had done…

"You two didn't end up like this over nothing, Al, so just tell me the truth. If you don't tell me now, I'll just get it from Ed when he's conscious!"

"I… Ed and me were… we had it all planned, all worked out… we thought it would really work! We thought we could…"

"So, now I see what this is all about! You boys were trying to bring your mother back, weren't you!"

I only nodded, still not looking at her. Then, we heard the front door open again and a tall man walked in- but he wasn't as tall as ME. He introduced himself as Roy Mustang, … a state alchemist! I remember, our teacher had told us about the military and state alchemists. WARNED us is more like! He and granny talked for a while and then he showed us why he was here. He showed us one of the letters we had sent out in search of our dad. However, I thought I had a feeling that there was another reason why he was here, but I didn't bring it up.

Roy made a few, startling propositions about Ed and I becoming alchemists for the state, until Pinako lost her temper and ordered him to leave, which he complied, but not without giving me and my brother one last glance and smile.

After the man was gone, Pinako turned back around and headed for Ed's room.

"Granny? Is it okay for me to be in here with Ed; please?"

She sighed and pointed her finger at him, lying comatose on the bed.

"If you want to help take care of your brother, you'll have to learn to control your strength and be far more careful with him!"

"Huh?"

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to give you the news, but when you brought him in, we found several large bruises on his sides from you carrying him. You were simply holding him too tightly."

I gasped and took one step back in shock. Had I really been holding onto him too hard? Was I too rough with my already frail brother? I couldn't believe what she told me… I held my head in shame…

"Now, Al, don't be like that. I know it wasn't your fault. You just can't control your strength in that new body. You'll just have to practice it!"

I simply nodded my head in response and followed her into the room.

A few days later, brother had regained early all consciousness and he was moving around in his bed and even talking a little. But, none of us were pleased by what came out of his mouth… it would seem that I caught him on a very bad day. Due to the blood loss induced fever, and the pain, Ed had become fussy, violent and… seemingly distant from us in some ways.

An aluminum tray crashed to the floor.

"Ed! Edward, calm down! It's okay! Calm down!"

"Winry, bring me some sedatives! Edward Elric, control yourself, please!"

Ed was thrashing about in his bed, shouting inaudible words at the top of his lungs, some of which were mild curses. Winry handed Pinako a syringe with the sedative, which she immediately injected into his arm. The girls tried to calm him down and hold him down to the bed, but when I got closer, I was hit in the head with a can that held little tools. I tried to calm my emotions and knelt down to pick them back up. And that's when I heard the words I never hoped to hear come out of my brother's mouth.

"Stop it! Let me go damnit! I hate you! I hate all of you!"

I had never heard my brother so sad and angry at us before, and it stopped me cold. I dropped the can and ran out of the room. I ignored Winry as she called me, and I sat against the wall in the hallway, curled up in the fetal position, drowning out Ed's yells by humming something to myself- something mom sang once…

The very next day, I was sitting that same way when Pinako and Winry passed by. They were dressed rather warmly, as if they were leaving to go somewhere.

"Where are you going?"

I asked quietly, my knees pulled up to my chest plate. I was still a little upset from the previous day.

"Winry and I need to go to the store to get more bandages for Ed and some joint oil, for you."

"But, what about Ed? You're not going to leave him alone, are you?"

"Certainly not alone! I'm putting you in charge of your brother, Al."

"M-me! But, what if… he doesn't want to see me?"

"Don't be silly, boy. You're his brother, and you saved his life, even. Take care now. We'll be back in a couple of ours."

And they left me… alone… well, not ALONE, alone…

I looked in on Ed only once, at first, but he looked like he was asleep, so I left again and closed his door. Patiently, I waited for a whole hour and a half, and heard not a sound from Ed. Winry and granny hadn't returned, either. I got bored, so I decided I'm go check on brother again, maybe help him. I suspected that he still had a fever, so I got some water and a washrag from the kitchen.

I was on my way back to his room when I caught the slight sound of movement from the room. I had to stay completely still to try and hear what was going on, since my armor made so much noise in itself…

I stood there holding the basin of water, listening, and all of a sudden I heard a loud **thump** and a compressed yell. Without delay, I ran into the room.

"Ed!"

And wouldn't you know it, I looked down to the floor and there he was. Ed had fell of his bed and was trying to cross the room towards the door, and me, crawling unsuccessfully on his belly like a fish out of water. As I stared at him, he looked up at me wide-eyed and teary. I couldn't hardly tell if he was like that because he was in pain of if it was the way I was looking at him (-as if anyone could tell, anyway. Ed doesn't seem to have any trouble reading my "expressions", though.) I knelt down and set the basin aside and moved to my fallen brother. He was trying SO hard to sit up, but couldn't. I was afraid to move him, too, for fear that I'd hurt him again.

"Brother, what do you think you're doing! You can't be out of be yet! You'll kill yourself that way!"

"Al… Al, I'm sorry! I had to tell you… that I'm sorry!"

"Calm down, brother. What did you want to tell me?"

"I-I called you lots of times, but you weren't there by the door! I thought… that you had left me, Al!"

Ed was nearly wailing now as he sobbed there on the floor. He had given up trying to sit and no longer had the strength to hold his body up. So there he lay on the floor, half dragging his bed sheets under him. He stayed like that, just crying into the wood floor.

"Brother, that's silly! I would never, ever abandon you! Never! I promise I wouldn't!"

"Al… I'm sorry…"

"Sorry about what?"

"I'm sorry…! I don't hate you, Al; or Winry or Pinako…! I didn't mean it, I swear! I didn't mean it...!"

I patted him on the head as he cried, and then I helped him to sit up, but the instant I had him sat up, he collapsed over and hugged me. His little arms couldn't even reach around half of my armor, but nevertheless, I appreciated the attempted gesture. Ed fell asleep like that, and as soon as he was out, I picked him up and tucked him back into bed. He seemed to be sleeping more soundly having that thought lifted from him.

"…Apology accepted."

It was a few weeks later, when Pinako was changing his bandages that he brought up an alarming idea to the three of us.

"There is some money back home… I want you to take it as payment… for automail. I'm going to go see that Mustang guy and become a state alchemist. I'm going to return our bodies back to normal…"

Even though Pinako and Winry didn't really approve of Ed's decision, I understood his reasoning completely. If he joined the military, he would be allowed the access to files that could bring us closer to accomplishing his new goal. His dream was also my dream. To become normal again. Ed felt really responsible for the way we were, I can tell, but I'm not about to let him carry the burden alone! From that point on, I had decided to travel with him and help him any way I could. It was as much my own fault as his for not stopping him when I had a bad feeling about it.

The choice we made to pursue this dream was sure to involve risks, but I wasn't afraid then and I'm not afraid now. Because, I always remember something I heard a long ago, …that the pains we take are less than the pains we'll take away.

owari.


End file.
